Depression isn't what we think it is
Important note - this is a philosophical piece, not medical!
This all started when I was quite ill recently with what I call a 'lethargy bug' - one which many experience as simply having no energy to do anything, and then which escalates into not having the will to do anything either. It gets to the point where one can't even imagine having the energy to shower, or anything.
The associated mental state was then one of absolute 'nothingness' - I literally could not think of a reason to move forward (even playing with my kids was perfunctory - on autopilot). This then reminded me of a definition of depression which states that it's the inability to construct a future for oneself. This was me right now!
However - I knew that it was an illness and a bug that got me this way - and that that outlook wasn't the reality of me. I'm self-aware enough to recognise that this was all neurochemical trickery - and temporary.
What I was experiencing was something that the World and Western society defines as a problem - this inability to see or to construct a future = 'depression'.
In getting to apply my usual filters to the experience though - it occurred to me that 'depression' then is to enter a state which every other self-help advice piece is encouraging us to enter - to learn to live in the moment.
In the moment - there is no time, and no future. So - depression is managing to 100% live in the moment - and this is something which we say needs fixing?
I have a feeling that there are percentages of us out there who might enter a version of depression - which is this very living in the moment - and, because it feels very much like a void, literally nothingness - and to boot society has handily defined it as a medical issue - we fail to see it for what it is.
Where Nirvana is the dissolution of time, space and self - 'depression' seems to be this very thing.
Have we many of us all been tapping into Nirvana all this time - and missing its beauty and power - because we didn't know what we were experiencing?
Where the only true and real thing is the moment, the infinitesimal moment - if we 'experience' this then without a map - it will just feel scary, and we will simply decide that we must be broken.
So the depressed state isn't 'down' or 'negative' - it's actually a state of a full and clear perception of reality, it's actual full and complete enlightenment - as we are finally experiencing Theta - nothing.
If anything - everybody skipping about with positive outlooks - are the deluded ones, living illogically. Cosmically - the 'depressed' state is the only logical and rational one - because we are just dust and will become nothing in a given number of aeons - the Universe won't even know we existed. We don't matter, no future matters - and that is the only genuine reality to comprehend.
So this entering a depressed state - isn't entering a dark place - it's exiting the artificial light that we've all created for ourselves; it is looking into the infinite depths of space and time.
I also have a sense that some of us who have the ability to weather staying in the moment ('depressed') for long enough - will have other doors opened to us, realms which most of us will never be shown - as the corridor thereto feels just too dark and foreboding. But here I hasten to add - only where we are otherwise mentally healthy and okay - then the experience of depression should be taken as part of the experience of consciousness, the way folk take LSD to experience new things.
Philosophy, religion - it's all about constructing a solution to the reality that nothing actually matters. One thing we as humans do need is purpose. Constructing purpose and therefore the sight of a future worth getting to - is the game of life.
I myself have begun to choose Absurdism as my solution to this existential problem - but that's another piece to write later! I like it because it's basically unassailable.
My own philosophy is one where the very fact of my consciousness is its own self-standing obligation to live well and live fully - and to serve others. I know I am real (I know that I am aware of myself) - you must feel this way too. So our interaction is the creation of a reality which can't be doubted. And anything which is real - matters.
That is therefore more than enough for me to latch on to as the basis of a purpose for each day - and by extension - Life itself.