How many funerals have you been to? I've been to a fair few now.
In all of these - you get all this energy gathered in one place, for one person. People come from far and wide. People pop up who never would in their normal course of life with the now-deceased.
Whilst the effort, energy and sentiment is well-placed and intended - it's literally too late, and of no direct use for the deceased (various religious notions such as praying for the dead notwithstanding).
What if I told you that instead - you could partake in someone's actual death-experience?
This piece is for those who have people in their life whose funeral they would definitely attend or wish to attend if said person or people were to pass away.
I'd initially drafted this piece with a slant towards elderly relatives/parents - but then it occurred to me that the suggestion herein applies just as much to the passing of anyone you care about at all.
This piece was prompted by my thoughts around death, and what that experience must be like. Whether this be from illness and therefore anticipated (by all), or something extremely sudden and unforeseen - the moment of death has got to be one of the most profound experiences that it's possible for a human to have (without the aid of entheogens).
We have some sense from those who have come close to death ('NDEs') that stuff certainly goes on. My focus though is on the notion that our lives can flash before our eyes - and I imagine a kaleidoscopic tumult of emotions with it. We don't know what the brain might grab onto in those moments - but we can be pretty certain that it will involve emotions (the full spectrum from joy to regret).
And this is where I think that we can have a part to play. The scope for a large role is more obvious say if you had a fraught relationship with someone, and you made a point of 'fixing' that, ensuring no bad blood, clearing the air etc.
In contrast with obvious regret-prevention (on both parts) - the less-obvious scenarios are those conversations which you would wish you'd had, if the person were to die suddenly. Have those conversations today - not just because you will be glad for it, but because those sentiments will as good as inevitably have their part to play in the emotional vista which unfolds before that person's mind as they cease to exist on this plain (or full-stop of course).
There is a school of advice out there which advises to 'spill the beans' with your old folk, before they pass - warts and all. The aim of this piece means that I'm suggesting that you don't do this.
Where you are seeking to be and live as a Positivist - and if you're reading my SubStack then this is reasonably likely - then what you want is to know that you took part in and played a role in the most important event of their life and passing, in a positive manner. This should be good for you - and can only be good for them.
Beautiful.